1. Take up an entire table with your trendy Macbook, scone and delicious latte. Sharing is overrated. 2. Go for a two-hour walk along the edge of Manhattan prior to arriving at the coffee shop. Get your heart rate up and work up a sweat – burn calories to earn your latte! Do not change [...]
Archive for the ‘The City’ Category
10 Steps to Guarantee Dirty, Nasty Glares of Disapproval from Fellow Saturday Afternoon Coffee Shop Patrons
Posted in Every Day, How to, The City on October 18, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A few months’ notice
Posted in The City on October 13, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I’m no good at being a waitress. There, I admitted it. I don’t care if your food gets to you on time, I don’t care if you like your meal, and I don’t want to chit chat about what my favorite dish is, or gush about my recent celebrity sightings. I do try, but because [...]
I’m only going if it’s first class
Posted in Every Day, The City on October 4, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
A helicopter is circling above my apartment making quite a commotion, most likely looking for a thief or a really successful hooker. If, by some small chance, it’s hovering in an attempt to kidnap me, I’d just like to make a public request for lots of cocktails (fine wine or fruity martinis) and a multitude [...]
Overheard by Tink
Posted in Every Day, Let's have a think, The City on October 1, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Crackhead on the street, in between violent face scratching: “Work that ugly skidmark butt!” I look around, meet his dry-eyed glare. Crackhead: “Yeah, you! Ugly skidmark butt!” That’s true. If one of the two of us has an ugly skidmark butt, Mr. Crackhead, it’s me.
My cell phone is not a vibrator
Posted in Every Day, The City on June 19, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
I used to feel bad about sleeping on the train ride from peaceful New Jersey into neurotic Manhattan. I’d try to not do it at all in favor of reading or staring out the window, or if I had to do it I’d sleep really lightly to make sure I didn’t embarrass myself in front [...]
Last days of being a bum
Posted in Every Day, The Boyfriend, The City on April 29, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
“New York: The only city where people make radio requests like “This is for Tina-I’m sorry I stabbed you.” -Carol Leifer I’m sitting in bed, hours past bedtime, blogging away and drowning goldfish cracker after goldfish cracker with red wine. In my mouth. The only problem is that my supply of goldfish crackers is dwindling [...]
Voila
Posted in Every Day, The City on February 22, 2008 | 1 Comment »
“You can’t teach people to be lazy—either they have it, or they don’t.” –Dagwood Bumstead of Blondie Ok, reader(s?). By now I think we’ve discovered together (me through writing, you through reading, in the loosest sense of the word) that my every day laziness absolutely transfers to my blogging style. I haven’t posted in…well, quite [...]
It Doubles as a Rice Krispie Treat Holder
Posted in The City, tagged The City, Work on February 7, 2008 | Leave a Comment »
Today New York City forcibly beat the shit out of me with its cold, hard fists. Any New Yorker can tell you that once in a while, well, the city just does that. Just when you finally get a day off, your ambition takes over and you think, “Today is errand day! I’m going to [...]
